| I was bored and I liked the song, so I recorded something new.
My cover of Ne-Yo's "So Sick." Click! I got lazy with
this one because I needed to get it done in one night (leaving for
Baltimore on Tuesday), and I lack sleep so apologies for the bad
quality. It's so subpar compared to my previous recordings. It's a bit
slower and in a lower key than the original song; I was going
for a more "chilled out" version and I think it came out the way I
wanted it to. This would be recording #7. Going for
10 by the end of the summer. Coincidentally I was
also "so sick" while recording this and you might notice it in my
voice. |
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| why am i having so much trouble letting go of the fact that nothing will ever happen between us
it's sad how i keep trying even though it seems like you're pushing me away
i guess it's never hard getting over things like this
strange how it hasn't changed in two years
sometimes i wonder if you know
but i guess it doesnt matter much, right?
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| "I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
-- Mahatma Ghandi
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| Being at Hopkins, meeting people, and getting my first early glimpses of the "real world" has caused to me to recognize something about myself: I'm the classic case of mediocrity.
Before I got here, I thought I was good at a lot of things. I had good grades. I was a good singer, a good guitar player. I was good at a couple of video games we played with our friends, I was good at Magic. I was good at cooking, good at drawing, good at writing.
Apparently, just "good" is not good enough.
The more I look around at the people I've met at college, the more mediocre I feel. Everyone's just so talented at whatever it is they do and there's no way I could ever compare. Even looking at my friends from high school, it amazes me at how much their talents have grown and developed since I had last seen them. Meanwhile I'm at a standstill. It almost feels like I'm stuck at this wall and I can't figure out how to get over it.
The whole "mediocrity" issue would be all fine and dandy if I were especially talented at something, but that's exactly the problem. Being highly proficient in some area of your life often acts as a way of offsetting the things you're not so good at, but what if you're not especially talented in any area? This is exactly how I feel. Yeah, sure, I'm pretty good at a whole bunch of things, but nothing really sticks out. As far I'm concerned, I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing special to offer to the world.
I guess maybe that's why I've been so depressed lately. I got used to being number one all my life, and suddenly here I am surrounded by all these talented people that me look like nothing more than bird excrement.
I'd say I've lost my spark, but you can't lose something you never had in the first place.
more developments to come ...
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| ahhh!
it's been so busy lately. forgive me if i havent been able to make contact with ppl, especially you, nik.
when i have some time ill get in touch again and maybe put some more songs on.
bye for now!
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